Collecting myself - Day 1 2021/04/05

 My name is Roxan. I am 38 years old, about to turn 39 in 12 days time. 

The past year has seen me go through alot of changes. I was married for 17 years when I decided to call it quits last year this time. It was not an easy decision to make, moreso as I have 4 kids. But it was one that I had to make. 

It's been tough, but I'm happy. My kids are happy.

I decided that I need to make some changes in my life. I need to get healthy, I am currently extremely overweight. I need to get fit. I need to get to know myself again. Rediscover my likes and dislikes. Basically I just need to collect myself.

I've given myself a year to rediscover myself.  It is often said that life begins at 40, so....this is my year of preparing for my life to begin again.

I'm scared but excited. I am doing this for my kids and I. They deserve a mother that is at her best and I deserve to feel confident and free. I was recently told the I am "f***ing beautiful" I don't believe it, I don't feel it, but I want to.

God says I am fearfully and wonderfully made, for too long I've felt inferior and not good enough. That stops now. I want to FEEL "fearfully and wonderfully made".

Here's to a year of exploring and rediscovering me. Here is to seeing what my hands can do as I firmly place them in God's hands.